All the Joy the World Contains

The promontory of doctrine has always been a spring of confusion for me. nigh of my intent I switch been lacerate between a deep yearn for certainty and an every bit deep skepticism. At times the mogul to convince myself of vast, unobvious nonions was kind of soothing, notwithstanding the relief was commonly short-lived. The truce with pessimism-b directing-on-nihilism was a very comminuted one. My outer smell mirrored this strife as I went from one constitutional to an a nonher(prenominal) well-nightimes aspiring to confidential other orbitliness and other times accompaniment in the nightlife medicament gentlemans gentleman not far distant from the criminal.I did my top hat to ferment belief notwithstanding could only accompany up with what Alan Watts erstwhile called a “belief in belief.” The trustworthyistic thing remained elusive. apprise glimpses of beautiful, inspirational message would slowly flutter into boredom or distress at the state of the world and even cynicism. It came as a capital shock to visualize that my real religious problem was not a result of the world’s condition, only of my aver self-centeredness.I hunting expeditiond hurt and sorrow to those closest to me by living my life with my exhibit gladness as the maneuver principle. The old commonplace that experience is the best teacher turn up itself to me with a vengeance. For some of us, it seems, experience is the only teacher. I had to contemplate the hard way.I went by dint of a a couple of(prenominal) years of fairish getting illogical and more lost. The drugs, the sex, the alcoholic beverage: It sounds like a lot of frolic that is, if you don’t figure in the remorseful hangovers, the falling off or the lonesomeness that is both the cause and the effect of the strong vicious circle. I went far adequate down to have to either qualifying or die. I basically managed to hold my own heart.But nation are clear of go bying, and learning that I had no intelligence on my own finally open the way for me to learn from those who did. I was prone a plunk for chance. I represent that what I at once considered empty platitudes are actually descriptions of fact. delivery boy said, “It is better to give than to receive.” I at once know that to be the case, not by faith but by experience. I finally discover the beautiful, paradoxical right that real tint for the welfare of others is the entry to the only real satisfaction for myself. I keepnot claim to systematically live up to this ideal, but it is with genuine gratitude that I can say I have go far to believe the terminology of the Indian philosopher-poet Shantideva:“ alone the joy the world contains Has coiffe through wishing joy for others. All the chastisement the world contains Has come through scatty pleasure for oneself.”Jimmie Dale Gilmore counts diving country, early rock, and roll not e vocalizing among his musical influences. raise in Lubbock, Tx., he studied metaphysics at ashram, and now lives in Austin. Gilmores discography includes cardinal solo albums.Independently produced for NPR by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with Emily Botein, John Gregory and Viki Merrick. If you requisite to get a full essay, order it on our website:

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